CATS (Review)

Cats (2019)
Universal Pictures

Directed by: Tom Hooper
Written by: Lee Hall and Tom Hooper
Music by: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Starring: Taylor Swift, Francesca Hayward,  Idris  Elba, Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Rebel Wilson, James Corden, Jennifer Hudson

​A Hiss-terical Drug Trip and an Instant Cult Classic

Fur-get “Rise of Skywalker,” THIS is the must-see movie to close out 2019! What is this movie? No seriously, how did this movie get made and who approved this? Because whoever it was, they deserve to be this year’s winner at the Jellicle Ball!

In today’s movie going world, these types of movies don’t get made anymore. It’s all sequels, reboots, remakes and blockbusters. But a long came Tom Hooper’s weird fever dream fantasy to come and break the cycle of generic blockbusters.

The end result? There’s absolutely nothing like this film that’s come before it. “CATS” is a beautiful acid trip and a future Cult Classic that deserves to be experienced!

So bizarre, so different and one of a kind. 

There’s simply no movie like this out there. For better or worse, “CATS” is a memorable film that deserves to be seen on the big screen.

It’s big, it’s loud, it’s wild and almost nothing makes a lick of sense. The plot? There is no plot until the final act and up until that point, we are left in shock and awe by what we were witnessing.

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There’s Rebel Wilson Horny Cat, cockroach people, mice children and James Cordon Fat Cat hissing and eating lobster out of garbage cans. Some might even say Ian McKellen is secretly a cat in real life. Judi Dench is playing “M” if she took a break from “James Bond” to spend a weekend in “CATS.”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Oh my, there’s so much sexual tension.

Yes, this movie is full of erotic and chaotic characters who clearly want to lick each other’s fur. So many scenes are just cats running up and seductively purring on each other. Don’t be a tease, take them out for some “milk” at the milk bar!

That’s not even the best part though!

The moment Taylor Swift Sexy Cat arrives, many men and women are going to be questioning their fetishes. Dressed in diamond high heels and collar, she now owns the title of “Best Cat Strip Tease,” despite not having any clothes on. Taylor Swift is only in the movie for 5 mins but she’s having a blast and giving it her all.

That’s what makes this movie so hilarious; every actor is committing to their roles and having a good time while doing it. Well mostly every actor.

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Jennifer Hudson takes her role way too seriously.

She is the only “bad” part (and I use that term loosely here) of this film.

We don’t know if it was her agent or the director, but someone forgot to tell Jennifer Hudson what movie she’s in. She plays it serious (way too serious in fact) by trying belch out emotional tunes. She’s trying so hard to have her “Dream Girls” or “Le Miserables” moment that it takes away from the fun and enjoyment.

Hunny, you’re in a movie about singing and dancing cats. Sorry, but you’re not winning any sort of Oscar here. If not for this one performance, “CATS” would have been absolutely flawless. Or should we say, claw-less!

Verdict

“CATS” is a one-of-a-kind experience that is destined to be a Cult Classic.

It’s bizarre, sexual, weird, hilarious and there’s never been a film like this before; and it’s doubtful there will ever be one like this again. This film is “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” or “Pink Flamingos” of this generation and we can’t wait to experience this film at future midnight madness events!

MEOW!!!!

Grade: 8 out of 10

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