Game Companion: A Review of a Movie that Caught Me Off Guard

I’ve played a few tag-team fighting games in my life, and I like the extra tactics they introduce to your typical matches.  If done right, different characters will affect teammates in different ways depending on their relationships in the game’s story.  So how do you choose your NPC partner?  Do you choose based on stats?  Preferred fighting style?  Storyline benefits?  Do you seek out the “cutest” female and just roll with that because you’re very lonely living in grandma’s basement?  This video explores that last option.

Game Companion consisted of two “stereotypical gamers” finally earning the coveted title of “master” in a fake Asian-style fighting game.  Think Soul Caliber or something.  As a reward, they get to pick a partner from a list of game characters.  While one does mention going for stats, they just can’t resist the idea of a “cute, shy” Japanese schoolgirl.  But wait, there’s a twist!  The girl pops out of the game!  Naturally the guys try left and right to take advantage of her confusion and “wacky” hijinks ensue, like multiple groping attempts and insulting Japanese culture.  Apparently they felt the need to redeem themselves somewhat because they DID manage to include a female gamer in the clip, however she had to be portrayed like an 80s tomboy, complete with skateboard, so I don’t know if that makes things better or worse.  That’s right, girls play video games too but only ones that look like stereotypical lesbians and don’t know how to dress.  Meanwhile the “cute” game character is completely baffled by video games and I am surprised they didn’t have her try to eat the controller.

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Now, it does kinda conclude with another hot video game chick popping out of the game and rescuing the first one.  Well, sort of.  She hacks the guys with her sword to send them into the game where other female characters start stomping them.  The two characters are still stuck outside their game, however, and have probably terrified 80s gamer girl to the point of never touching a video game again.  Was there a point to this outside of “gamers are mouth breathing misogynists”?

I’m just not getting if this was meant to be funny or some sort of social commentary.  I didn’t find it funny, but some of that probably had to do with it’s predictability.  They specifically had to mention one of these guys lived in grandma’s basement and that she wished he’d get a “real job” instead of fast-food.  They can’t handle themselves around a pair of boobs, real or otherwise, and behave in a disgusting manner.  Why 80s-girl-gamer’s mom lets her go to her uncle’s basement pad is beyond me at this point.  Sure, these disgusting stereotypical gamers get what’s coming to them…sorta…but what’s that saying, exactly?  If that’s the point of the video then the message is clearly “gamers are disgusting misogynists who can’t get a ‘real job’ or laid and should be punished for existing” with a side of “oh and girl gamers aren’t actually real.”  And if this is the case, then I should definitely not be the one reviewing this thing.  I’m offended, and I don’t even have a dong.

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Getting to the nitty gritty bits, the acting was terrible.  While I’m not expecting Oscar-winning performances it’s still hard to pay attention to something when you’re cringing.  The special effects, however, were nice!  I especially liked the in-game world.

 In conclusion: what the heck guys?

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