Goat Simulator: Physics at its best

Feb 10, 2015


Is your lifelong dream to be a bicycle riding goat? Well if it is then you need Goat Simulator! And possibly a doctor. Goat Simulator has very wacky physics and is very simple and easy to play, it has three different levels and is one of the weirdest games I have ever played.

This is not going to end well.

This is not going to end well.

The Maps: Goat simulator has three maps that include a city which is the main map, a more urban city with a theme park and an ocean, and a gigantic mmorpg map which has a level system and multiplayer. The first map, Goatville, is a very interesting map full of random secrets and mini games such as a goat fighting ring where you must knock the other goat out of the ring. It also has a castle where you can become the goat king. The second map, Goat City Bay has many things such as a fair with rides that work (if you can get on them without flying away) and wear that you just kinda float around in without moving your body. The mmorpg map is a very medieval styled wide open map with robots harvesting gold, markets, and a LOT of quests. All in all, the maps are very interesting and well made and they are a big reason why Goat Simulator is very fun to play.

The Gameplay: In Goat Simulator the gameplay is fairly straightforward; here is your goat, here’s the physics, now go be funny. That is the general aspect of the game, but there is much exploration and goat-ing to be done. You can activate things that change your size, what your goat looks like, and you can even become a goat with a jetpack! Because thats normal. There are also various speed challenges where you must run to different points in the map as fast as you can. Doing these things along with some challenges such as “Airtime Normal” earn you points. If you earn points you can get highscores and such, but they don’t affect much of the gameplay. Altogether these gameplay elements form a good casual and hilarious experience, this game is in no way an “I must get the highscore!” type of game, its a very quick but fun and exciting experience.

I think it's fair to say that this game has some "interesting" ragdoll physics.

I think it’s fair to say that this game has some “interesting” ragdoll physics.

The Goats: Is one goat just not enough for you? Well then you must love goats, but don’t worry the game has that covered. Throughout the map there are various trophies scattered around the map that you can pick up. When you get these trophies you will unlock various goats such as the “Tall Goat” which is basically just a giraffe.

I don't know about you but I don't think this is a goat.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think this is a goat.

There are other goats like “Classy Goat” which is a penguin, “Demon Goat” that can attract objects, “strong goat” which headbutts extremely hard, and “Blue Goat” which looks suspiciously similar to Sonic the Hedgehog. There are many more for you to unlock during gameplay and I really enjoy this aspect of the game. So altogether these goats are amazing and have very weird physics. I think most people would get a kick out of this customizability.

The Graphics: The graphics in this game are not exactly “next-gen” but what they are is decently textured and aesthetically pleasing to look at. The shaders are really nice and have a really cool “Dynamic Shadows” option that makes it look amazing. I don’t have much to cover on the graphics but what I can say is that they look very nice and are easy on the eyes.

The MMO: Yes this game has an MMORPG inside it, you can level up, choose a class, and cast magic spells. Personally I don’t really have much to say about this mode because I don’t really like MMOs. But it is really well made and challenging. There are quests you can do to gain EXP. and villagers to talk to and all the other things that come with a decent MMO. I’m sure that if you like MMOs, you will enjoy this.

Altogether, Goat Simulator is a unique and hilarious game that takes the hilarious physics of Garry’s Mod, and combines it with all those really weird goat memes that have been going around. This is a very good purchase if you want a good laugh, along with something easy to play, I would recommend this to people that like Garry’s Mod. You can get it on Steam for $10.

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