What Superheroes Want For Christmas

Dec 23, 2013

Today is the day that I make my yearly pilgrimage to Hell. Yes, it’s time for Christmas shopping at my local mall once again. Do I enjoy it: obviously not, but it is something I need to do. So (as usual) I take a shot of Jack Daniels, pop a top on a nice cold Guinness, pick up the phone, and call my friends to see what they want for Christmas. Here were some of their responses…

Wonder Woman – A more powerful weapon.  “A Lasso of Truth?  Seriously?!”

Wonder Woman

Aquaman – Respect.  “I’m in the Justice League, people!”


The Mandarin – To be the main villain in the next Iron Man film.  “So that I can kill Trevor Slattery for making a mockery of me.”

The Mandarin

Hawkeye – His own TV show.  “I can do everything Oliver Queen can do!”


Hulk – A time machine.  “So I can go back in time and NOT save Rick Jones.”

The Hulk

M.O.D.O.K. – A flat screen TV.  “This old box look is so outdated…”


Thanos – A matching Infinity Gauntlet.  “It’s 2013, not 1982!”


I think that I can get all of these things at the local mall.  This should be a fast trip and not so expensive.  UGH.  Well for me all I want for Christmas is world peace, an end to hunger, and no more crime.  Yeah right!   What I really want for Christmas is for 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. to man-up, come to an agreement, and release the original Batman TV series to DVD so that I can buy it and free-up a lot of space on my DVR.


Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!