Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends to get together and share food, spirits and laughs. Seeing everyone together and all the food spread about it made me think, what if the heroes and villains of comics were to put aside their wars and feuds for one day and enjoy Thanksgiving? More importantly it made me think about who would bring what dish to the feast?
First to come would be an odd pairing of Guy Gardner and Bugs Bunny. Bugs, with a basket of unwashed and dirt covered carrots would hand you the basket for the veggies and dip, though he would just eat the carrots. Guy, being a fan of finger foods and the usual tailgating snack, would have some sliders and nachos to share with the party. Don’t take his sharing mood to lightly because you can be sure he would keep his 6-pack close at his side. No one can say no to little hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls, and Mickey Mouse, whose first words at the party (and on film) would be letting everyone know this delicious meat treat is ready to be devoured.
The side dishes
The starches that help fill out the meal, at this comic book themed Thanksgiving table, would be supplied by the Ronin Rabbit Usagi Yojimbo who would make the mistake of bringing container after container of white rice balls along with his customary Saki as his item to share thanks with all the others. A new comer to this party could have a favorite side dish that he brought can after can of. Don’t worry if there is no can opener at this gathering because Popeye would be all you would need to squeeze open the top and pour out heaping mounds of spinach to be eaten right from the can. If the plain tasting side dishes are not enough to satisfy your hunger, give Piotr Rasputin’s (Colossus) traditional soup from his homeland a try. The Shchi is a Russian style of cabbage soup that can warm the soul, and if that doesn’t work, there is probably a bottle of vodka or two nearby.
Next to come and ring your doorbell, would be a long list of characters bringing what they consider the main course. The Ninja Turtles and Samurai Pizza Cats would bring their iconic and synonymous foods. Large pipping hot pizzas, though you can be sure there will be a shortage of garden variety pizzas as these are topped with anchovies and other odd toppings. Keeping with the Italian theme, as well as a comic character in cat form, there would be two large lasagnas in their aluminum foil containers brought by the loveable Garfield. But sadly you would go hungry if you hoped to get a piece of this pasta and cheese layered food as both the containers would have been emptied and licked clean by the orange furball the moment they came out of the oven.
If the pizzas or lasagna are not something you crave, don’t worry because we have some cultured heroes who are going to be bringing in flavors from their backgrounds. Remy Lebeau (Gambit) would be happy to stop his card game as well as his attempts to charm the other guests with his accent and charisma to share the Cajun spices (he more than likely stole) for this fabulous feast. Gambit’s team mate, who hails from Germany, BAMF to Berlin and back in mere moments to share some fresh authentic bratwurst and sauerkraut. Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) may have hid in a monastery for most his young life, but he knows food as the German sausage and topping is something everyone needs to try especially if you attend the local German Festival every year.
Late to arrive to the party, either because they were out saving some old lady from a burning building or because it is in style to arrive late, two Marvel heroes offer a taste of different classes. Peter Parker, having just climbed in through your window, would avoid the issue of his tardiness by shoving handfuls of Ramen noodles (the dorm room staple) at you and trying to stay low key and under the radar. And arriving in opposite fashion, with a few models on each arm as he gets out of his luxurious car, Tony Stark would have Jarvis announce his presence while dropping off a platter or two of his new favorite after party meal, the Levantine Arab meat preparation referred to as Shawarma. Running around the holiday party, Wade Wilson (Deadpool) would be trying to make friends with everyone, while claiming he is friends with everyone. Desperate for a team up, Deadpool would assure everyone that the odd smell isn’t him this time, but that of the chimichangas and tacos that he has kept in his back pocket sense he bought them earlier in the day.
If the Hulk or Thing still have room to chow down, then they are in luck, desserts are up next. As the Ecto-1 would pull up, they Ghostbusters team would be grimy and tired as they pulled overtime and had to work on the holiday (‘busting ghosts is a full time job), but they would be sure to have a Twinkie the size of a bus to share with everyone (and maybe some Ecto cooler Hi-C too!). If high fat, yellow sponge cakes with creamy centers are not the delicacies of heroes, Wonder Woman would have no problem rushing out to the invisible jet which was parked in your yard (btw), to grab some of her favorite frozen treat not found on Themyscira. With ice cream in had she would delight the party this this treat she now knows is a wonderful indulgence. Filling out the dessert table with golden circular cakes with light pink frosting, would be everyone’s favorite nuclear power employee, Homer Simpson’s eleven donuts from the Kwik-e Mart (he had to test one to make sure they were safe). The other Simpsons wouldn’t arrive to this shindig empty handed, but you better not lay a finger on Bart’s butterfingers.
Around The Party
Throughout the commotion and uproar of all that are gathered, there would be the red streak of The Flash tasting everything in between his high gluten energy bars, as his metabolism burned through all that stored energy. It’s a shame that he (or any of The Flashes/Reverse Flashes/Prof. Zooms) cannot try the pure form of energy mined by Decepticons called energon, though it is probably harmful for humans to ingest. Filling the room up with thick cigar smoke and the scent of Canadian whiskey, Wolverine can be found making small talk about how in Canada, there would be fresh caribou and other venison as the main course, not some turkey. And of course, making his socialite appearance of the week, would be Bruce Wayne who always eats out because he seems to never want Alfred’s cooking, with the excuse that there is no time for food. Maybe he just hates Alfred’s cooking? In any case with this mixture of characters, not including the many who couldn’t make the travel due to an arc or extensive cross over, there is something for everyone but don’t expect turkey or mashed potatoes and gravy.